Many people seek therapy hoping to get rid of distressing thoughts and painful emotions, which is deeply human. When something hurts, our instinct is to want it to stop.

In practice, however, it is often our attempts to avoid discomfort that create the greatest difficulties over time. In ACT therapy (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), the focus is therefore different: learning how to live in line with what truly matters to you, even when discomfort is present.

What Is ACT Therapy?

ACT therapy, short for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, is an evidence-based form of psychotherapy within the cognitive behavioural tradition. It is commonly used to support people experiencing anxiety, stress, depression, burnout, life transitions, and relationship difficulties.

Rather than trying to eliminate unwanted thoughts or control emotions, ACT therapy focuses on changing how you relate to your inner experiences — and how that relationship influences your behaviour and life choices.

The overarching goal of this approach is to strengthen psychological flexibility:
the ability to stay present with what is difficult while continuing to move toward what matters most.

When Avoidance Becomes the Problem

Avoiding discomfort is a natural and understandable human strategy. The problem arises, however, when avoidance becomes the primary way we organise our lives.

In ACT therapy, we often see that discomfort appears precisely when we move toward our values. For example, this may look like:

• wanting to be honest in a close relationship, but avoiding the conversation out of fear of conflict

• longing for emotional closeness, yet pulling away out of fear of being hurt

When discomfort feels overwhelming, it is easy to step sideways instead of forward. As a result, the value remains, but our sense of direction becomes blurred.

While avoidance may bring short-term relief, over time it often pulls us further away from the life we want to live.

ACT Therapy Focuses on Direction, Not Symptom Elimination

In my work with ACT therapy, I always begin by helping clients clarify their values. This includes clarifying what truly matters to you, the kind of person you want to be, and the direction you want your life to take.

Values are not goals to achieve or check off a list. Instead, they function more like an inner compass, offering guidance even when the path feels uncertain or uncomfortable.

Once direction is clear, insight alone is not enough. Instead, meaningful change requires practice — which is why ACT therapy is not just about talking, but about training.

Read more about how I work as a theapist.

What Skills Are Trained in ACT Therapy?

ACT therapy is practical and experiential, meaning that we work together to develop psychological skills that can be applied in everyday life.

Presence

Learning to return to the present moment instead of becoming caught in worry, rumination, or self-criticism.

Acceptance

Making room for thoughts and emotions without needing to act on them or make them disappear.

Defusion

Learning to see thoughts as thoughts — not as absolute truths or commands that must be followed.

Self as Perspective

Developing a stable inner vantage point from which inner experiences can be observed without being overwhelmed by them.

Value-Based Action

Taking small, meaningful steps toward what matters, even when discomfort is part of the process.

What Does ACT Therapy Lead To?

As these skills are practised and integrated into daily life, many people experience:

• improved nervous system regulation

• reduced emotional reactivity

• greater behavioural flexibility

• increased capacity for closeness and connection

This is what ACT refers to as psychological flexibility, the core outcome of the therapy. However, this does not mean a life free from pain or difficulty. It means living a life that feels more authentic, meaningful, and aligned, even when challenges arise.

Read about who I am and what my counselling philosophy is.

Summary

ACT therapy is not about getting rid of difficult thoughts and emotions.
In contrast, it is about changing how they influence your life.

By clarifying your values and strengthening psychological flexibility, ACT therapy supports you in moving toward a life that feels meaningful — even when discomfort is present.

Learn more about ACT and the importance of psychological flexibility.